Thursday, May 24, 2012

Quarter Life Crisis Symptoms:Feeling Left Behind


               So I’m sitting here on Facebook (because that what us quarter life cristers do with most of time) passing the time away and I noticed how massive my friends list is. Since I graduated high school five years ago I live in 2 different states (and visited several others), enrolled in 3 different schools, live in 8 different cities and had about 13 or 14 different addresses. It’s no wonder I have such a huge friends list! I've encounter so many different people. So I decided to see what’s going on in all my old friends’ lives.

               Boy was that a mistake! As I’m browsing profiles and timelines I see former classmates in pictures in their graduation cap and gown holding their degrees, statuses on what grad school they’re in now, wedding pictures, pregnant friends, friend’s with families, friend who are actually doing what they set out to do when we graduated high school or when I last saw them. Don’t get me wrong I’m very happy for my friends, and it builds my faith to an extent but at the same time I get the sense that I’m missing out on something…

               You know, that feeling like the world is passing you by or you feel like you've been left behind like the fat kid in the cross country race that everyone will clap for because he came in last and didn't stop because he was hungry? Now, again, this is not one of those blogs where I want people to feel sorry me. Trust me, I feel sorry enough for the both of us so the last thing I need is more sorrow. What I need, is to figure why do I feel so left behind and figure out if that feeling based on truth. Like, maybe it’s not that I've been left behind but that I’m just a late bloomer. That’s an optimistic way of looking at it huh? J  

               So why do I feel left behind? It probably has to do with some of the choices I've made in the past. Regret will always lead to sorrow. You get those thoughts like, “Maybe I shouldn't have moved here..” or “I would have been better off if I would have done that instead of this” or just feel in the blank with whatever question you ask yourself that can get you to look at and sometimes live in the past. It also may deal with the fact that you haven’t met your personal goals as timely as you would have liked. For instance, coming out of high school I was for sure that I would definitely finish my degree in 4 years, 4 and half tops. But now five years and two transfers later and according to the phone call I just had a conversation with my Academic adviser  it’s going to take another two years to complete my degree. Needless to say I am not happy about that.

               So now that I understand why I feel what I feel, now the complicated question comes, are my feelings based on truth? Well, that depends how you look at it. If you take all 400+ of us who were in my graduating class, maybe half to 60% of us went to college straight out of high school. Now most of these people that I don’t know or keep in touch with but of the ones I do know, most of that 60% has graduated or well on their way to graduating or found something they really enjoying doing and are doing it. So if I compare myself to closest friends from the past then yeah, my feeling are based on truth, I am being left behind. These people are advancing in life faster than I am. However, comparison isn't always the best source of truth. Plus if I wont to broaden my scope and compare myself with all 22 year olds in the world, the fact that I can put together a sentence makes me far more ahead in life than most 22 year olds in the world.

               So, are my feeling based on truth? I guess it’s all about perspective. It’s all depends on how you look at it. As with most things in life, the glass of water can be half full or half empty or you can just take action fill the rest of the cup up and chug that bad boy! Like I said I (you) could be a late bloomer J  

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