Friday, November 9, 2012

Exposing the Lies: You’re Not Good Enough

               So there are many things that run through our head as we are experiencing our quarter life crisis. Some of which I believe are lies and that’s why I decided to start a new page on my blog called Exposing the Lies. The first lie we are going to expose is the lie that “You’re not good enough”.
               Now I’m sure at some point in every person’s life this thought has run through their head. Especially amongst women. I can’t tell you how many of my female friends have this irrational fear that they are good enough to do something or worst feel good enough to be loved or love (but that’s another blog for another time). Basically this thought tells us that we do not possess the necessary skills or ability to accomplish something that we really want.
               Now as with everything in life, something is either true of its false. Now sometimes this idea can be true but it’s usually obvious when it is. For instance, most 23 year old guys aren’t “good enough” to play in the NBA. But that’s obvious and of course there are exceptions to the rules because there are some 23 year old guys in the NBA. However with most other things, other than obvious examples, the idea that you’re not good enough is a COMPLETE LIE!
               First, you don’t need to worry about being good enough. The only time we don’t feel good enough is when we compare ourselves to other individuals, but you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time (except Chuck Norris lol) so we all are equal. We all are different but that makes a society work. If everyone all possessed the same qualities then we wouldn’t have all the different traits a society needs to function. It’s called the “Equality of Differences” Our differences doesn’t make one person better than the other, just gives them a different function in society.
               Second, anything you want to do you can do. It is just going to take more hard work than you originally anticipated. We all know a story or seen a movie about a person who overcame the odds and did something extraordinary because, based on our humanistic way of thinking, they were not “good enough”. Now if they had listed to the lies and believed that they weren’t good enough then they never would have overcame the things that they did and reached the goals they wanted.
               Good enough? Good enough for what? As long as you accept who you are and are comfortable with that person, that’s good enough. Now I believe everyone should strive for self-improvement but not out of self-hatred. I want to improve myself every day. But every day spent thinking about how I’m not good enough, is a day taken away from improving myself. You don’t need to be the best; you just need to be the best you can be. LIE EXPOSED!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Remember, Remember, the 5th of November.... For What!?!?

               I didn’t vote. That’s right I said it, I didn’t vote! For some, this is a heinous sin against our fine Democracy and some will even think it makes me less intelligent than others all because I didn’t get out and vote. But I’ll have you know that I didn’t vote not because I’m lazy or because I was uninformed or uneducated about the candidates. Oh no sir! I was well informed. I watched the Daily Show with John Stewart and the Colbert Report on Comedy Central almost religiously so I knew my options very well. And although I am Apathetically Conservative, I would have you know, that had I voted, I would have voted for Barry Obama, even though I don’t fault anyone for voting for my boy Mitt. But nonetheless I didn’t vote.
               Why didn’t I vote you ask? Because it’s a Democracy and I can (or can’t). Look, I waited four long years to exercise my right not to vote and you think I’m going to be pressured into voting because someone else thinks it’s important? Oh no no no. See you voters need people like me. See, if it wasn’t for people like me, you voters wouldn’t, no, couldn’t enjoy your right to vote. I make your life seem worthwhile. See there you were, stumbling through your quarter life crisis and then this opportunity came along for you to “make a difference”. But see it’s only a difference if other people aren’t doing it. If everyone voted then it wouldn’t be different, so you need the 100+ million of us who didn’t vote.
               Secondly, I find it humorous that in our country, every four years, we get to pick someone to blame things on when things go wrong. In my short time here on earth, I have lived through 4 American presidents. George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and now Barrack Obama. And every single one of them ninjas got blamed for some stupid stuff they weren’t even responsible for! It makes me feel bad for choosing a guy to take a bullet that was aimed at the guy before him.
               Plus the way our government is set up, the president doesn’t have as much power as we all think. If the President wants to do something new and the Senate doesn’t like it, all they got to do is slap him in the back of the head and say, “Sit down and stop pushing buttons second player!” We all know the President doesn’t have that much power unless he has the Senate behind him.
               Also, unless you live in Ohio, Florida, Virginia, Nevada or Wisconsin, it’s not even fun voting. The news has already told you who you electoral votes are going to anyway. How come all of my 55 electoral votes go to one person!? Divide that stuff up and then maybe I would think my vote actually counted.
Lastly, I’m usually not that interested in the issues that are at hand and neither are you if you’re honest with yourself. Think about it, if you really cared about the economy you would be out there doing something about it instead of voting for someone else to take out trash that you are unwilling to yourself. Oh the education system sucks huh? Put some money in that puppy and maybe it would work. Sponsor an inner city kid for a life changing missions trip and make him a more productive member of society, instead of voting for some Senator who wants to “clean up the streets”.
In conclusion, I am excited for 2016! I get to exercise my democratic right not to vote. And to all you who think I’m ignorant or uneducated, I’m sure there will be a proposition or something you vote for next election to make people like my vote. Which in that case, I’ll just vote against it. ;)

Monday, November 5, 2012

My Breakup Letter To Facebook

Dear Facebook,
I would just like to start by saying that this has been a long time coming. I have to admit, that back in 2006, I only got involved with you because my friends said that I should. Soon I realized that the only way I would see my friends would be if you were in the room. At first I was infatuated with you. Our relationship was so new and at that time, you were still so simple. At first you wouldn't even let minors in on our business. But that would soon change.
I miss the simpler days of our relationship. It was me, you, and a few of my closest friends. And a couple of those weirdoes that I didn't really know but felt bad for denying their friend request. In those days, I knew what was going on before you did. Nowadays, you seem to know way more about my friends now than I do. How do you know my friend’s birthday and I don’t? I feel like you wanted to get to know me just so you can steal my friends…

These days I can’t get rid of you. At first it was cute, having someone who always wanted to know what was on my mind. Now it’s just creepy. You’re worse than a nagging girlfriend. Not only that, but you seem to occupy all my time. I should be working on my resume so I can get my career started but since I can only contact my friends through you, I have to use you to find them. And when I do finally find them, I find that they are just using you to promote their business.

Speaking of which, I’m tired of our time together being constantly interrupted with apps and advertisements  Texas Hold ‘Em was cool, and Drug Wars was addicting for about a week, but these Farmville and Daily Horoscope request are just a too much. And who are these random “Christian Singles” you want me to meet? I don’t know who these girls are but with that much cleavage there is no way they are Christian or single. Besides didn't I tell you I was in a relationship now? It only got 100 likes on my timeline!

Speaking of which, the timeline put me over the top. What was wrong with the way things were? I liked it. But more than anything, you remind of how far I am not in life. I don’t need to know that my friend whom I haven’t spoken to since 2007 got engaged. How do you think that makes me feel? Haven’t you read my blog, I’m going through a quarter life crisis?!? You waste my time, and you’re always everywhere. It’s not even fun anymore.

So with all that being said, I think in order for me to move past my quarter life crisis, I think it’s best if we see other social medias. I hear you are really good friends with Twitter. Personally I think you can do better, but nonetheless I am moving on. If you need to get in contact with me you can follow me on instagram @gradlifesucks. Hope there’s no hard feelings
Sincerely Yours,
Your Quarter Life Crisis Companion

Quarter Life Crisis Symptoms: Regret

          It’s hard to believe that at 20 something years old we can already look back on our short lives and have regrets about decisions we've made. The saying is true, “Hindsight is 20/20”. I know that I have looked back on things I have done in the past and have felt bad about them. If you’re anything like me, then you are you’re biggest critic. You can always think of how you could be better but rarely understand how to motivate yourself to do better. Regret is the is the emotions the will inevitably come up when someone is suffering from the “Should’ve-Would've-Could’ve’s”
               What are some of things you regret? Is it education? Maybe you didn't go to the school you wanted to or got the grades you wanted. Is it a career choice? Maybe you thought your current career would be a lot different or you regret not taking a risk you now feel would've paid off. Is it a financial regret? Splurged all you money or developed unhealthy spending habits? Health regrets? Did those Freshmen Fifteen turn into the Four-Year Forty? Or maybe you are having a hard time breaking the unbalanced eating habits of your youth. It is important to identify what your regrets are so that you know where the source of regret is coming from.
Sometimes I really believe that our mind can play tricks on us. Sometimes we allow our circumstances to dictate our emotions instead of having our emotions dictate our circumstances. Not making the amount of money you want or being in the place you want to be in life can leave you wondering, “What happened?” Remember though, we can’t predict the future so there is no guarantee that path you are currently headed down will lead to utter doom and failure. Maybe this just the part of the story that is anti-climactic but eventually your story will turn out just fine. But I believe you should decide that, not your past.
I find that if I think too much about the past I start to feel regret. And when I start to think too far into the future I start to get discouraged. Haha! Man, what am I to do? I find that the best thing for me is to do what I can do in the here and now, and feeling sorrowful is not going to help me. As in Texas Hold ‘Em, I can only play with the cards I've been dealt. No use crying over all the mistakes I made in past hands.
Since no one is perfect though, regret is unavoidable. We all have made bad decisions. Decision making is always done with incomplete information. If we could exist outside of time and know the exact results of every one of our decisions, then we would never make a mistake and never know what regret feels like. However, I have found that in the midst of a quarter life crisis, regret will only keep you in the crisis, not help you get out.    

Friday, November 2, 2012

Peter Pan Complex

               So I just heard of this thing called the Peter Pan Complex or Peter Pan Syndrome and I knew I had to blog about it. Apparently this is when you don’t want to grow up and refuse to take responsibility for life. Ooooohhh if only it were that simple. Wouldn't that just fire you up beyond all belief if success just happened to you and didn't have to work for it. You could fly around in a fictitious world with mermaids, pirates, fairies, and Native Americans. Yeah, that would awesome!
               You have a personal assistant named Tinkerbell who is secretly in love with you so she does everything you command her to at the drop of a hat. You and your boys never age so you just get to go on adventure after adventure of mishap and fortune. Your arch nemesis would be this snaggletooth old guy with a hook for a hand but since you’re a BOSS you obviously would kick his butt every time. And the best part about all this is that sometimes when it’s late at night you get to sneak in little girls’ room when their parents are asleep and kidnap them and take them to your magical fairy world!.....
               So I’m being a little facetious but you get the idea. I think we should diagnose all college grads or any person 27 years or over who has never moved out of their parent’s house and still parties all time with Peter Pan Complex. These are usually the people you find on reality TV shows like Jersey Shore. Yeah, their immaturity makes for tremendous television ratings, but man do they set our society back few decades. At some point we have to start taking responsibility for our lives.
               People with Peter Pan Syndrome usually are the kind lazy people who put their problems off on other people, blame things like “the government” or “the man” for their shortcomings. Their lives completely lack direction and they are more in tuned with their fantasy world than the real world.
Let the Peter Panners be a warning to the parents and future parents out there who are thinking about coddling their children a little bit too long. You’re asking for a quarter life crisis for them, a giant pain in the butt for you, and a headache for the rest of us if you do that.
Now, although I don’t believe all quarter life cristers have Peter Pan Syndrome, I do believe that some people can develop the Peter Pan Complex during their quarter life crisis if they don’t take their crisis serious enough.
So what do we do about those who suffer from the Peter Pan Syndrome? Well first, I’m not sure it is them that are suffering. We non-Peter Panners are the ones putting up with their immaturity. With that being said, to treat the Peter Panners, I suggest that we excommunicate them all to a small desert island and name it Neverland. I know this sounds drastic and ridiculous, but it seriously could work. I mean, on a desert island you pretty much have two choices: you grow up or you die. Thus getting rid of all the Peter Panners by will or by death. That’ll teach those boys who think they are never going to die. ;)

The Fundamentals: Something to Believe In

               At the core of our being, is our desire to believe in something greater than ourselves. People want to be a part of a greater whole. Don’t believe me? Well, let me ask you this: Would you like to be your own sovereign nation? Would you like to be the monarch of a country with the population of one? Where you make all the decisions and you’re the lone voice of the nation? How great would you feel when you look at all the other nations with more people than yourself? How would your economy function? Face it! At the core of being human, we desire something more than ourselves.
               We are social beings. We desire relationships. Deep meaningful relationships where we give a part of ourselves and in return, through working with another human being, we achieve something together that we couldn't achieve do individually. Whether that accomplishment is something tangible like a goal or intangible like a feeling, we all want to believe we can do something greater. People need something to believe in. People need passion. We admire it and yearn for it.
               This is why I admire children. Ask a little child what they want to do when they grow up and watch their imagine soar. Children believe in something greater than themselves and they take great joy in that. Young children don’t know what depression is because they believe as if unbelief doesn't exist. Show me a depressed person and I’ll show you a person who has lost their childlike faith. Don’t we all need that? A childlike faith. I’m not talking about religion, although it could be that. I’m talking about a faith that drives us and motivates us to be better individuals every day.
               People are motivated by what they believe in. Has your motivation been lacking lately? Maybe it’s because you have nothing to believe in. Belief transcends beyond what you can see, touch, taste, and hear. I’m not talking about a nice car or fancy house. Maybe that stuff comes with your dream but it shouldn't be your dream. If that’s what you believe in, good luck with that. That’s a dream full of vanity.
               Maybe you’re going through a quarter life crisis because you’re looking for something to believe in. A goal or a dream that you’re willing to stay up late at night for. Something that you’re willing to sacrifice your money for.  Something that you will wake up early for and something so big and something you’re so passionate about that you’re willing to convince every soul that they should believe in it too.
               What I've noticed is that these things either usually find you or you create them, but they are,at the end of the day, unique to you. Maybe it’s a great cause or movement. Whatever it is, I believe it’s not just out there for you, but waiting to be unleashed from within you. What I really believe it comes down to is that everyone eventually wants to find something worth dying for, and live for it.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

The Fundamentals: Why Am I Here?

Why am I here? Isn't that the axis on which our entire being rotates. That is the fundamental question. Our life in the midst of a quarter life crisis can be summed up as a quest to answer this question.
               You ever see a person who seems to have this question answered. Don’t they seem to have different outlook on life? Sometimes they seem as if they have it all together. Now intellectually we know no one has it all together, but on an emotional level when someone has that question answered they are just different from the rest of us. Their day seems to be a lot busier than the rest of us. Their actions, even the menial one, seem to have a lot more substance. No, their life is not perfect and never will be, but the good, the bad, and the ugly all seems to have purpose in their life. It all is a part of, what appears to be, a complete being. They have a certain spirit that just draws the rest of us to them. Even their peers look up to them in one way or another.
               Now here’s another question: How many people do you really know that has this question answered? Chances are not that many, if any at all. “Why am I here?” We hear about millionaires committing suicide because they never answered this question. They got all their hearts ever desired and had access to anything their eye could see but in the end, nothing filled the void that was this answerless question. Isn't that life’s greatest tragedy? That one could obtain all it ever desired and still not be pleased and even worst, so unsatisfied that you don't want to live.
               There, I believe, is the fundamental problem when trying to answer this question. We begin on path find a cure for the sickness, yet on the way get distracted by the symptoms. We exchange the treasure for the pleasures. The deceitfulness of pleasure is astounding. Pleasure is just that, pleasure. Its function is not to be eternally satisfying. Its purpose is to cause a finite enjoyment that will keep meaning in your life but not to cause meaning. The treasure is what causes meaning. The treasure is your purpose. The very meaning for your existence.
               Now some believe, we’re born, we live, we die and that’s it. But what a sad existence. Personally I believe we all were born with a reason to believe that life does not begin and end with us. And we have a yearning to believe and achieve something greater than ourselves. Otherwise why live?
               Now if you haven’t figured out the answer to this question, don’t go do something rash and unfortunate. But just know that, that is your quest, to answer the question. I will be posting more blogs about how answer this question in the near future but for now just wanted to give everyone something to think about. Because I believe you do have a purpose and you exist for reason. But don’t exchange the treasure for the pleasures!  

What Is A "Teenager"?

               The worst invention in mankind and, I believe, one of the sources of a quarter life crisis is the “teenager”. I know this may sound weird but I do not believe in the teenager. I know what you’re thinking, but you tell me, what is a teenager? “A young person between the ages of 13-19?” Yeah, so what? What does that mean?
All this social construct does, is provide young adults with an excuse to delay accepting responsibility. I understand people need time to transition through life, and we can’t expect someone to know exactly what they will do with the rest of their life at 14 but giving a person 6 years to “figure themselves out” is ridiculous and obviously doesn't help society. If anything, it provides us with yet another social dilemma. Is a teenager a child or an adult? The teenager construct says that there are both a child and an adult. The social dilemma being that we now give a teenager the freedom from strict supervision but don’t give the full responsibilities of adulthood.
The teenager is a social invention post World War I. Things like the child labor laws of the early 1900s, and the socialization of American high schools, all helped toward this social invention. So the idea of being a teenager is less than 100 years old. Before this time, you were either a child or an adult. There was nothing in between. Yet, in the early part of the twentieth century, parents wanted to wait longer before they saw their children adjust to the new life of adulthood. Some could say, the teenager was bound to come.
But what does all this have to do with a quarter life crisis? Well, I believe that what you sow is what you grow. If people are being influenced to think that they have more time to figure themselves out then that’s exactly what they are going to do: take time to figure themselves out. Which yeah, can be a daunting task but doesn't have to be.
Like I said earlier, teenagers are people with more freedom and less responsibility. That is ultimately the foundation that I think will lead to a quarter life crisis. It’s like one day in the midst of enjoying this freedom you have, you one day realize that you all of sudden have some responsibilities to figure out. But the truth is that the responsibility wasn't all of a sudden. It was always there, you were just groomed to take more time not to accept it. But what’s sad and what we all taken for granted is that we don’t know how much time we really have…
I am not blaming teenagers for those of us having a quarter life crisis. Remember, teenagers are a social construct. But more than anything it’s a mindset rather than an actual stage of life. The purpose of this article is just to illuminate the truth on the subject hopes that we’ll understand how we got to this point. The point being that by giving people time to figure themselves out and less responsibility, you’re sowing plants that will one day grow up to be a quarter life crisis.