Monday, November 5, 2012

My Breakup Letter To Facebook

Dear Facebook,
I would just like to start by saying that this has been a long time coming. I have to admit, that back in 2006, I only got involved with you because my friends said that I should. Soon I realized that the only way I would see my friends would be if you were in the room. At first I was infatuated with you. Our relationship was so new and at that time, you were still so simple. At first you wouldn't even let minors in on our business. But that would soon change.
I miss the simpler days of our relationship. It was me, you, and a few of my closest friends. And a couple of those weirdoes that I didn't really know but felt bad for denying their friend request. In those days, I knew what was going on before you did. Nowadays, you seem to know way more about my friends now than I do. How do you know my friend’s birthday and I don’t? I feel like you wanted to get to know me just so you can steal my friends…

These days I can’t get rid of you. At first it was cute, having someone who always wanted to know what was on my mind. Now it’s just creepy. You’re worse than a nagging girlfriend. Not only that, but you seem to occupy all my time. I should be working on my resume so I can get my career started but since I can only contact my friends through you, I have to use you to find them. And when I do finally find them, I find that they are just using you to promote their business.

Speaking of which, I’m tired of our time together being constantly interrupted with apps and advertisements  Texas Hold ‘Em was cool, and Drug Wars was addicting for about a week, but these Farmville and Daily Horoscope request are just a too much. And who are these random “Christian Singles” you want me to meet? I don’t know who these girls are but with that much cleavage there is no way they are Christian or single. Besides didn't I tell you I was in a relationship now? It only got 100 likes on my timeline!

Speaking of which, the timeline put me over the top. What was wrong with the way things were? I liked it. But more than anything, you remind of how far I am not in life. I don’t need to know that my friend whom I haven’t spoken to since 2007 got engaged. How do you think that makes me feel? Haven’t you read my blog, I’m going through a quarter life crisis?!? You waste my time, and you’re always everywhere. It’s not even fun anymore.

So with all that being said, I think in order for me to move past my quarter life crisis, I think it’s best if we see other social medias. I hear you are really good friends with Twitter. Personally I think you can do better, but nonetheless I am moving on. If you need to get in contact with me you can follow me on instagram @gradlifesucks. Hope there’s no hard feelings
Sincerely Yours,
Your Quarter Life Crisis Companion

No comments:

Post a Comment