I didn’t vote. That’s right I said it, I didn’t vote! For some, this is a heinous sin against our fine Democracy and some will even think it makes me less intelligent than others all because I didn’t get out and vote. But I’ll have you know that I didn’t vote not because I’m lazy or because I was uninformed or uneducated about the candidates. Oh no sir! I was well informed. I watched the Daily Show with John Stewart and the Colbert Report on Comedy Central almost religiously so I knew my options very well. And although I am Apathetically Conservative, I would have you know, that had I voted, I would have voted for Barry Obama, even though I don’t fault anyone for voting for my boy Mitt. But nonetheless I didn’t vote.
Why didn’t I vote you ask? Because it’s a Democracy and I can (or can’t). Look, I waited four long years to exercise my right not to vote and you think I’m going to be pressured into voting because someone else thinks it’s important? Oh no no no. See you voters need people like me. See, if it wasn’t for people like me, you voters wouldn’t, no, couldn’t enjoy your right to vote. I make your life seem worthwhile. See there you were, stumbling through your quarter life crisis and then this opportunity came along for you to “make a difference”. But see it’s only a difference if other people aren’t doing it. If everyone voted then it wouldn’t be different, so you need the 100+ million of us who didn’t vote.
Secondly, I find it humorous that in our country, every four years, we get to pick someone to blame things on when things go wrong. In my short time here on earth, I have lived through 4 American presidents. George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and now Barrack Obama. And every single one of them ninjas got blamed for some stupid stuff they weren’t even responsible for! It makes me feel bad for choosing a guy to take a bullet that was aimed at the guy before him.
Plus the way our government is set up, the president doesn’t have as much power as we all think. If the President wants to do something new and the Senate doesn’t like it, all they got to do is slap him in the back of the head and say, “Sit down and stop pushing buttons second player!” We all know the President doesn’t have that much power unless he has the Senate behind him.
Also, unless you live in Ohio, Florida, Virginia, Nevada or Wisconsin, it’s not even fun voting. The news has already told you who you electoral votes are going to anyway. How come all of my 55 electoral votes go to one person!? Divide that stuff up and then maybe I would think my vote actually counted.
Lastly, I’m usually not that interested in the issues that are at hand and neither are you if you’re honest with yourself. Think about it, if you really cared about the economy you would be out there doing something about it instead of voting for someone else to take out trash that you are unwilling to yourself. Oh the education system sucks huh? Put some money in that puppy and maybe it would work. Sponsor an inner city kid for a life changing missions trip and make him a more productive member of society, instead of voting for some Senator who wants to “clean up the streets”.
In conclusion, I am excited for 2016! I get to exercise my democratic right not to vote. And to all you who think I’m ignorant or uneducated, I’m sure there will be a proposition or something you vote for next election to make people like my vote. Which in that case, I’ll just vote against it. ;)