Monday, December 17, 2012

12/22/12: The Most Awkward Day of History..



                I know I wrote a blog on it about two weeks ago but I don’t really believe in this end of the world stuff on 12/21/12. I have no reason to believe the world is going to end. I mean that religious guy told us that that world was going to end last October and that didn’t happen. So, if you have a tendency to believe all this superstition stuff I wouldn’t do what a lot of people did then and sell all your stuff because then you’ll be homeless.
                I’ve also noticed that no one really cares this time around either. I feel like last December people were more frantic for 2012 than we are in 2012. They even made a movie about. According to the box office, no one really cared about that movie either.
                I just realized while writing this blog, that it’s going to irreverent in about 5 days no matter what happens. Kind of makes me what to write about something have you noticed how commercial Christmas is these days?
                I never get gifts for anyone. What makes December 25th so important anyway? Are we still saying it’s Jesus’ birthday because we all know now that there’s more evidence that he was born in the Spring, so that’s not flying anymore.
                And what’s with this fat white guy coming down my chimney? I don’t have a chimney, never had one. Most inner-city children don’t. So what, Santa just “conveniently” can’t give all the inner-city children toys because they don’t have chimneys? Nice try white people, but I’m not falling for that one.
                I read someone somewhere in some article on some website that probably has as much as credibility as my blog that some kid got suspended from some school for saying Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. That’s stupid. Now if the kid is even as remotely of a smart-alic like I was then he probably said something like: “What do mean I can’t say Merry Christmas? Whatever happened to my religious freedom that our Founding Fathers put in our Constitution? Or are we denying the rest of my first amendment rights as well? So saying you’re telling me that saying Merry Christmas might offend some of my fellow student? Well then you tell Prakesh that he can’t wear his turban to school because his turban offends all the decent people who died in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Oh what? Now I’m ignorant and intolerant? Says the guy who won’t allow hard working tax paying citizens say Merry Christmas in class!  I can’t wait until the rapture happens. I hope I’m with you and your Jewish family having dinner so I can see the look on your face when Jesus comes back. I hope we’re at a nice restaurant enjoying our ice teas and complimentary bread. And Jesus comes and rips the roof off the restaurant that’s owned by Prakesh’s family own that they bought with the money from their oil company just as we’re about to order. And I hope it’s the first day of Chanukah when He comes and you and your Jewish family just stares up at his illuminated body with your mouths open speechless. And right before he calls me up to paradise I turn to the waiter and say, ‘I’ll be having the pork chops’ and then look at you and say ‘Merry Christmas Mr. Principal. Merry freakin Christmas!!”  In that case he deserves to be suspended.
                But yeah 12/22/22 is going to be an awkward day in history. ;)

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