Sunday, December 9, 2012

The World Just Put In Its Two Week Notice

This article was originally written December 7th, 2012 but it took a little while to get it up. Give me a break I'm going through a quarter life crisis :P 
               Hey, I don’t know if you noticed, but today is December 7th 2012. You know what that means! Only two weeks left to live. That’s right all you quarter life crisers, the world is ending in exactly two weeks, so if you’re still trying to figure out what to do with your life and you’re horrible at planning, the good news is you only have to plan for two weeks. The bad news: you only have two weeks…. L
               I don’t know about you, but with the world ending in two weeks, it makes going through a quarter life crisis a lot easier. Five year plan? HA! I don’t even need a five-week plan! The world ending in two weeks is a huge plus for us people going through a quarter life crisis. Let me tell you why:
1.      I don’t have to worry about finding a real job because come December 21st there won’t be ANY jobs. Real or fake ones like blogging. That’s right all you people who take pride having a successful career, guess what? Your career is coming to a very sudden end very very soon my friend.
2.      Since the world is ending there’s no need to have a crisis anymore. Before I was all worried about the kind of impact I could have on the world before I die. Psssshh! Forget that! I’m doing like Ke$ha living tonight like I’m going to die young because you know what I am going to die young. (Disclaimer: Only in the event of the world coming to an immediate end do I promote and Ke$ha-like behavior. Otherwise, I in no way, shape, or form condone any Ke$ha-like behavior)
3.      Speaking you of dying. You know that quote, “Only the good die young” Well guess who has two thumbs and is dying at the tender age of 23? This guy!!
4.      No Christmas Shopping!!!!! Sorry all you idiots who got trampled on Black Friday, but no Christmas this year. Sorry all you little children who mailed your Christmas List to Santa, but no Christmas this year. Sorry girlfriend, I know you say I never buy you anything but I’m sure you’ll understand this one timeJ. Sorry Jesus for turning your birthday into a materialistic marketing scheme. To make up for it, we’ll be cancelling Christmas this year.
It also makes going through a quarter life crisis not so much of a crisis anymore. It makes it more of a nice opportunity to make a really cool story before the end of history. Remember all those ice breaker questions like, “If you had two weeks left to live, what would you do?” Well guess whaaaaaaaaaaat? If you didn’t have an answer then, you better get to it now! I feel that for real quarter life crisers, nothing changes. I mean we weren’t really doing anything with our lives before the end of the world, why should anything change now?
In all seriousness though, if you only had two weeks left to live, what would you do? Leave your response in the comment section. J

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